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My feelings on birth
Ann McLeod Taylor
Daughter, Wife, Mother, Mother-In-Law and Grandmother.
RN, Midwife, C.B.E., L.C. Hypnotherapist. Nat Therapist
and occ. Doula.
I think pregnancy and birth
are the most wonderful processes on earth, and I feel very
blessed that I have been able to spend the last 35+ years
in my chosen profession, and amongst the many things that
I have learnt is to “trust your body to give you the
right information” and that despite modern knowledge
and technology “birth is as safe as life gets.”
Lets get real, a professional does not come to you to say
you are pregnant, you seek out the professional and say
“I feel different, I am pregnant!”.
Women have been designed to birth vaginally,
and women’s bodies have the DNA handed down since
Eve to birth as nature designed, but due to Fear, Stress
and negative Hypnosis suggestions and our modern lifestyles,
we are loosing our ability to trust our bodies. Modern Medicine
is a wonderful tool for us to use when things do not go
according to nature's plan and we should use it ONLY as
a safety net.
Birth is a job of work, and nothing done
for the first is usually easy. It can be very time consuming
and scary, but support and praise make the job easier. The
more prepared you are, the better the whole process flows.
So do the groundwork ahead of time, trust and understand
the process, gather your skills, and your support.
Lets put it into perspective
How would you feel if you had been training
for a profession, and are qualified, and you have been given
a new assignment, one which will look real good in your
resume, while giving you more credibility and experience.
“Other people”, managers, colleagues or friends
start hinting that you were not up to the job? You were
too small, too weak, too tired, too female and improperly
designed!!! .How cranky and crabby would you feel? How demoralised
would you become? How would it impact on your confidence
in the future?……and if at the last minute they
took that job away from you without good reason, how disappointed
would you be?. What kind of a battering would your self
confidence take. However if you were doing the job and found
yourself struggling, would you be prepared to ask for assistance?
Of course you would. If as occasionally happens it becomes
too overwhelming, would you be prepared to pass the job
over to someone with more experience and expertise for the
betterment of the company? Of course you would.
It is the same thing in labour and birth
and motherhood, (trust me motherhood is a profession). In
labour, you do not loose your brain, and apart from the
concentration needed during a contraction the in between
times, for rest and recovery, you are back to your normal
self. (I did not say normal but to your normal self.) People
love to magnify the negatives and would hate you to be better
than them, or think you could do without them. Most times
we can, however if your body or your baby were not coping
with the pressure of labour and becoming distressed you
would be more than happy to choose medical assistance to
give you the outcome you want, and you would not feel that
you were any less of a women or have any guilty feelings
that you had not given it your best shot.
It is the greatest privilege for me to support
a mother in labour, for her to allow me the chance to enhance
her skills with those I have gleaned over the years, and
to work with her partner as a team to support her. To make
the environment safe and secure, for her to feel nurtured,
loved, and free from disturbances. Enabling her to use space,
voice and movement, to listen to her bodies natural rhythm,
forgetting time and place. I rarely need to offer “pain
relief” as I usually have explained at first meeting
that I am there to support her and her partner, and just
to let me know how I can assist her, I know most have already
done their homework and know their options, but when a Mother
feels she needs something I am more than happy to assess
and discuss those options and arrange what she has chosen.
I will never say no, but we may negotiate, if appropriate.
You will notice that I rarely use the term “pain”,
as I do not want to hypnotise you into having pain. Pain
is a sensation, so why choose it? Choose another sensation,
cramp, pressure, tightness, heaviness etc., It has been
well documented that “Fear causes tension, tension
causes pain which causes fear“ and the cycle continues,
if we can ease fear we can ease tension and Pain. The more
you talk about it the more you will feel it.
“The mind is like a
Think only what you would
like to happen.”
How many times have you heard people say
I knew that would happen to me,……it is a self-fulfilling
People in life threatening situations, not
to mention athletes and sports people manage to complete
their “job” often with incredible injuries,
and not notice the pain until after, Why? Because they are
so focused on getting the “job” done well that
they block everything else out. We are no different. Focus
on the outcome not the journey.
Your baby's birthday should be one of the
best days of your life. A day that may be filled with hard
work , sometimes long and sometimes exhausting but by focusing
on the end result, by visualising the moment your baby comes
into your arms, all else will be forgotten. This is the
day you finally get to meet this special new person (or
people) who will have such a tremendous impact on your life.
A life filled with tears and joy and more hard work. But
you are a woman and you can do anything you put your mind
to. So do not focus on the journey, focus on the outcome
To birth your baby with joy and
While, yes there are occasionally tears
of sorrow, ….99% of the time there are tears of joy.
Yes, frequently, there is as much tears and exhaustion for
your partner and for me, as there is for you but you get
the elation and exhilaration, of a wonderful job well done,
when the months of growing your baby comes to an end and
you hold this precious bundle in your arms. Your baby, the
product of your love.
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